Momz Fun Facts, RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Co-Parenting Fun Facts

Hey ๐Ÿ‘‹ Momz, Itโ€™s Fun Facts Time! So real quick, Did you know that research suggests that (with exception to domestic violence or substance abuse) co-parentingโ€”having both parents play an active role in their childrenโ€™s livesโ€”is the best way to ensure that all your kidsโ€™ needs are met and enables them to retain close relationships with both parents? Co-parents can also have a strong influence on the mental and emotional well-being of children. Here are some Co-Parenting tips below:

1: Set hurt and anger aside

2: Improve communication with your co-parent 3: Co-parent as a team

4: Make transitions and visitation easier 5. And Repeat

I want all Momz to know that co-parenting can be challenging, however with faith and the other party have a rational mind anything is possible. Momz are super duper Rockstarz ๐ŸŒŸโญ๏ธ๐ŸŒŸ. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/co-parenting-tips-for-divorced-parents.htm #roadmap2balance4momz #funfacts4momz #momzaregraced4this #realgirlsfart #bossmoms #momlife #mothersmatter #coparentingdoneright #moms #mothers #momsrock

Momz Fun Facts

4 Parenting Styles

Hey ๐Ÿ‘‹ Momz, Itโ€™s Fun Fact Time! So real quick, did you know that there are 4 primary parenting styles: Authoritative, Neglectful, Permissive, and Authoritarian? Each of these styles are based on the mindset of the parent- Recognizing what your parenting style is can provide a healthy way to manage conflict ……….So Momz, have any of you identified which parenting category you fall in? Drop yours below ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผand letโ€™s chat. For transparency, my parenting style is permissive and authoritative ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—#funfacts4momz #roadmap2balance4momz #mommy #mothersmatter #mothers #momssupportingmoms https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/parenting

RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Sex Talk

So I had this In depth conversation with my daughter about S.E.X. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. Let me set the scene. I’m sitting in my bedroom watching television ๐Ÿ“บ and my daughter approached me about wanting to talk to me about some things regarding sex. So I said sure let’s just go for a ride since I needed to go to Target ๐ŸŽฏ anyways and I’m kind of panicking ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. Now before the sex discussion even begin my daughter basically came out and said that she is not sure how comfortable she is discussing her flaws with me ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. As her mom, I’m like hey I have flaws too (plenty of flaws)- my daughter is like well “I’m not aware of any of your flaws and what I want to talk to you about you might judge me”. I’m totally thinking ๐Ÿค” to myself like why would I judge ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธ anyone; I’m not judgemental. Now this is where things get deep: I immediately start sweating under my arm pits because now I’m praying under my breath and asking God to help me through this conversation. I begin to take a deep breath, I shared one of my flaws ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ(my first sexual experience I got pregnant and had an abortion) and put myself in her shoes and we started an open discussion surrounding sex. We openly discussed that some of her friends were having sex ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. So I calmly asked her, “Baby are you having sex and do you want to have sex?” She responded, “Mom, I am not ready to have sex because I want to focus on my education and get myself established first”. Here is where I started breathing ๐Ÿ˜ฌ. So I’m thinking she wanted to tell me that she had sex but she really just wanted to have a discussion about sex and to know how her Mom felt about it ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿค—. In the back of my mind I was like thank you Jesus. In the moment I responded, “When you are ready please let me know so that I can get you some condoms”. I asked my daughter about STD’s and told her that if she chooses to have sex, she will risk getting infected with a sexually transmitted disease and informed her that some of the STD’s are not curable-her mouth is wide open now ๐Ÿ˜ฌ. We also discussed the importance of waiting until Marriage to have sex (biblical principles- I Corinthians 6:18-20). I shared with my daughter that I did not wait until Marriage to have sex and I ended getting pregnant a second time ๐Ÿคฐwhile in a relationship and becoming a single parent. I also discussed with my daughter some of the struggles (delayed college entry and sport scholarship cancelled)I experienced being a young single mom and how my choices delayed my purpose in life. My daughter stated, “Mom I’m sorry you went through those things.” I told my daughter when you are not aligned with God’s plan and try to make your own decisions, God allows obstacles to occur in your life to remind us that we need to seek him first. I’m just thankful that my daughter still has her V card ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. Okay so back to the topic ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ, having the sex talk with your teens can sometimes be challenging and I try to be more conscious of that. I found this article that I want to share with Momz who may also need some assistance with having the sex talk:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/high-school/what-should-i-teach-my-high-school-aged-teen-about-sex-and-sexua

Here are some helpful tips from the article:

You can support them in waiting even more by helping them think through how theyโ€™ll say no to sex in the moment. Ask them what they think someone might say to convince them they should have sex. They can practice what theyโ€™ll say back. They might come up with things like:

  • โ€œItโ€™s just not for me.”

  • โ€œWe are too young for that responsibility.โ€

  • โ€œMy plans for the future are more important than having sex right now.โ€  

  • โ€œI donโ€™t feel like it.โ€

  • โ€œWhy are you trying so hard when I told you, โ€˜noโ€™?โ€

  • โ€œMy mom would be really upset.โ€

  • โ€œI might get sick or pregnant.โ€  

  • โ€œItโ€™s against my religion.โ€

  • โ€œNO.โ€

As a reminder Momz, Don’t be afraid to have this talk, it’s the best thing that I could have done โœ…- Now I do it all the time ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. My kids are like Mom, again really ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ! Yep ๐Ÿ‘

Who Am I

Who Am I

My personal mission is to help stressed-out MOMZ plan and prioritize what’s important, so they can THRIVE at balancing family and motherhood.

Hi! My name is Chassity, at this moment I live in the DMV area with my husband and our 5 children. I enjoy blogging to encourage Moms on taking care of themselves and finding new and creative ways to self-care. I also enjoy blogging about many different topics regarding parenting, date nights, health, and etc. My biggest passion is dancing  and speaking to Moms about Resilience/Balance regarding self-care, self-worth and self-confidence and I love it so much!

Momz have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you have lost yourselves by totally giving your all to your family and disregarding yourself because you was out of alignment? Well that was totally me. I was so focused on ensuring that family was taken care of that I totally forgot to take care of myself first (I was completey out of alignment).

This blog is designed to provide tools to the everyday parent to remind Momz that you matter. A lot of times we get caught up by the images of parenting through television and social media which does not actually portray the reality of parenthood for the average parent. Majority of parents do not live the celebrity life and we must learn to balance (find harmony)full time jobs (9-5), spouse, children, appointments, social life, friends and extra curricular activities. This roadmap platform is designed to educate, empower, support and elevate Momz in their everyday lives. I am not only a forward thinker but a pioneer for every facet of the modern day woman. This style of empowerment is virtual but yet appealing. For many years I have used my voice to empower, equip and educate Momz to finding balance and aligning their lives by providing resources, tips, tools from everyday life.

I have allowed my faith in leading my obedience to every instruction which has shaped my authentic life. Through my healing, alignment with GOD and my resilience that I have experienced, this has given me the ability to help other Momz. These qualities and determination is what makes me qualified to lead Momz from pain to victory. I am a full-time mom and maintain full-time career. I am the CEO of RoadMap2Balance4Momz and a Co-Author of “The Mompreneur Manual” which provides creative direction and innovative ways for Momz to find and maintain harmony/balance in their life. In this role, I have brought clarity and life to numerous Momz. My authority is further solidified through higher learning. I have earned a Masters Degree Science of Human Behavior from Capella University and I continue to educate myself regularly. I am married and am a proud mother of 5 and love my family. I have a passion for living authentically and just having fun. I canโ€™t wait to connect with all of you real soon. This journey will not only benefit you but it will also benefit myself as we take this journey together. Thank you for taking this leap of faith with me.

Helping other Momz development Resiliency/Self-Care/Aligning does not mean we donโ€™t love our families, its means that we are practicing taking an active role in protecting our well being in order to be productive as a Mom, wife, friend, confidant, and business owner to prevent burnout. Itโ€™s knowing when our resources are running low and stepping back to replenish them rather than letting them all drain away and we drown instead of swim.

On my blog you will find a big variety of blog content on everything above. I hope you will enjoy reading my blog! Look out for additional items in the future!

Much love,

Chassity

Blog, RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Moms Are Adequate and Graced

Hey๐Ÿ‘‹ Momz, you ever been in a place where you have felt inadequate at times ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ? Sometimes Mommying can feel quite chaotic and challenging. We are often faced with obstacles to challenge our innovative way of thinking ๐Ÿค”. Let me share my story: My 15 year old son being diagnosed with Chrohns Disease early 2018 really challenged my innovative way of thinking ๐Ÿค” as well as played with my mental in regards to my adequacy as a Mom through what I thought to be a chaotic situation. Since 2011, my son had been dealing with intense stomach/intestinal pain. When I say pain I mean vomiting ๐Ÿคฎ throughout the night, fevers ๐Ÿค’, sleeping by the toilet ๐Ÿšฝ, many trips to the emergency room, unexplainable weight loss, and much more. My son had seen numerous doctors ๐Ÿฅผ and specialists but the doctors could not pin point what the issue was. As a parent, this really affected me because I felt helpless because I could not help my son or relieve him of the pain. My son and I would often talk and he would ask the question, “Mom, Am I going to gain weight?”. Deep down I really didn’t have an answer, but because of my prayer and faith, I would always tell my son that he is definitely going to gain weight. Although, I had my faith, deep down I was fearful because at that particular time my son was loosing weight and the doctors ๐Ÿฅผ could not seem to find answers through tests and blood work. This stomach pain and tests from the doctors ๐Ÿฅผ went on from 2011 to 2018 when my son finally received a diagnosis. But I didnโ€™t realize that God had already mental prepared me for what I thought was chaos because when the doctor ๐Ÿฅผ gave the diagnosis my faith just automatically increased- I know it may seem weird but itโ€™s true ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. Even when I shared this information with my extended family about the diagnosis, some of my family members were getting upset and crying ๐Ÿ˜ข; and I was like โ€œWhy are yโ€™all crying, where is your faith?โ€. I wanted to share this story as way to help a Mom who may be feeling inadequate. Just know that you are adequate enough and graced enough at all times to handle any obstacle that is placed in front of you. With your innovative way of thinking, Momz can overcome with grace. Here is a link with more information for Momz to learn more about Chrohns Disease to help your little ones who may be going through the same thing ๐Ÿค—: https://www.crohnscolitisfoundation.org/what-is-crohns-disease. Momz are Rockstars๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ! #positiveaffirmations #momsneedmoms #mom #mother #godfirst #crohnsdisease #momsrock #momlife #momtruth #momprobs #mommy #mothers #mothersmatter #fridayaffirmation #empoweringwomen #empoweringmoms #empoweringmothers #womenempowerment #womenempoweringwomen #grace

Blog, RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Self Confidence

Hey Momz, Have you ever been in a place where your self confidence was feeling defeated๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ? This was once me ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. Let me share my story: In 2017 I was in a car accident which cause some permanent short term memory loss and in the midst of that I lost some self confidence because I was not for sure of many things due to the fact that I was experiencing some memory issues. Now as a Mom, this affected my entire life because my memory played a role in my relationship with my husband and children (appointments, dates, events, and etc). During this time, I attended therapy for my memory to help build and regain that muscle; however, through it all I still remained less confident. I was less confident in the fact that when I would have conversations with my husband and children that I would forget what we discussed and I felt so horrible about it but I could not help it. I was less confident in the fact that I would schedule appointments for myself, my husband, or my children and totally miss the appointment because I could not remember. Even talking to my extended family, we would have a conversation and they would be like “we already talked about that” and to me it felt like the first conversation we ever had about that particular topic, weighed on my self confidence. Then I begin to go into prayer with God and ask for memory restoration and tools to help me as a Mom to regain my self confidence and over time, God did just that ๐ŸŒŸ. Through dreams God gave me resources: he literally told me to go buy this huge dry erase board and write things down and so I did ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. To this day, I still write things down; I have my to do lists and I have an ongoing list on my phone ๐Ÿ“ฑ . I have this scripture Jeremiah 29:11 that I memorized “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” to also help regain my self confidence as a Mom.

Now because I was experiencing low self confidence, this affected my ability to do public speaking because I was afraid that I would forget the words. Now this fear of public speaking consumed me for about a year and some months. About a few weeks ago, I begin seeking my faith in fear. Although, I had heard many times from my Pastor and my husband that fear is the enemy, I never had my ah ha moment until I begin to dig deeper into my faith did my fear begin to disappear. I learned that the book of Psalms (56:3) is a great instruction on helping me to cast out my fear with faith. On Friday, June 21, 2019 I did my first short video on my Instagram which was about 7 seconds long. Although I was extremely nervous ๐Ÿ˜ฌ, those few seconds gave me a boost of confidence to move me into the direction of my purpose. I wrote this because there may be some Moms who may be experiencing some self confidence and may need a boost ๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ. To all the Moms that are thriving through low self confidence, I would encourage you to take some time to do some self reflecting and to work on you because you have a Divine purpose ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿฅฐ. #momsrock #moms #mothers #empoweringmoms #selfconfidence

Blog, RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Guinea Pig ๐Ÿท

So my nine year old daughter is really into Guinea pigs ๐Ÿท and she is on a mission to get one โ˜๏ธ. Last night, my daughter (entrepreneur mindset) developed this entire well written contract that she wanted her father and I to sign. Now this contract was well thought ๐Ÿ’ญ out by my daughter because she strategically developed objectives and goals towards how she is going to get this guinea pig ๐Ÿท by her tenth birthday. Not only only did she present a contract but she also had a calendar ๐Ÿ—“ that mapped out the days that counted down towards her birthday for the guinea pig ๐Ÿท. The objectives were so well thought out that my daughter even identified things that she needed to do daily (clean her room, no talking back to her parents, and staying on task) that I was at au. Now I’m thinking ๐Ÿค” to myself, the entire time my daughter has been playing me because she has known the entire time the things that she needed to do but now she is choosing to do them because she wants this guinea pig ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. Now these goals she had were specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. Now this contract really blew my mind (although I know my daughter is super smart) because I’m like in shock cause she has kept all this knowledge from me ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. She basically waited on the right time to play her cards โ™ฆ๏ธ. So my daughter and I sit down and review this contract that she presented- I acknowledged to her how proud of her I was that she took the time to develop something that she wanted and that she is going to need that skill in life amongst other skills. We also talked about being a businesswoman and how using SMART Goals early in life is going to her identify and think critical to create her entrepreneurial-ship path in life. Although this story started about a guinea pig ๐Ÿท, ultimately it turned into message for our children. Kids are our future and we have to use every moment as a teachable moment as much as possible because the world ๐ŸŒŽ will teach them otherwise. So in a nutshell, the countdown begins for the guinea pig ๐Ÿท and the contract was signed ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ. Let’s see what happens!!!! ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Blog, RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Mommy Meltdown

Hey Momz, So as a blogger if I am going be authentic, I have to be willing to share the bad too. So here goes nothing: So yesterday during the day I spoke to husband regarding having to take our 14 year old to get her nails done and get additional accessories for her 8th grade prom after I get off work. My husband ended up spending his day of work golfing as a work day which I totally support. His golf day ended early and he called me to inform me that he was picking the (3๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ง) kids up from school. I was like, “that’s great”! My husband ended up dropping our 14 year old daughter by my job so that we could go right after work to complete the items we needed to get done for her 8th grade prom.

Now mind you, I am assuming that since my 14 year old daughter and I was not going to get home until about 8:00ish that the other 3 ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ง kids at the house with my husband would have completed the following: homework, showers, ironed uniforms, and etc.

So my 14 year old daughter and I get home around 8:00ish. I walk in the house all happy go lucky, walk upstairs, and ask my husband the following: “Hey babe, did the kids complete their homework?” He responded, “I did not know they had homework.” I immediately grabbed my laptop, went downstairs to office, locked the door and had a complete crying meltdown. See, I had worked a 9hr day, had taken my 14yr old daughter to get items for her 8th grade prom, and still had to come home and help my kids ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ง with homework, do laundry ๐Ÿงบ, work on ministry paperwork, work on my blog stuff, make sure the kids get bathes, all while trying to make some me time. I think I cried literally like a baby (balling my eyes out) for about 45minutes before I got myself together. I was feeling all types of disrespect, unheard, unloved, just all types of thinking errors. Did you hear me thinking errors!

So once I consoled myself and began to think logically, I quickly realized that I never communicated to my husband or my children what I needed from them… I shared this story because I know sometimes as Momz we expect our family to know what we are thinking ๐Ÿค”. And clearly I did not do a good job of that. It’s important that we communicate clearly our wants and needs and for the recipient to understand what those wants and needs are in order for effective communication to be met.

To all the Momz that may have had some meltdown moments as I have, it’s okay ๐Ÿ‘Œ. It’s life and you will get through it. On to the next thing ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿง

Blog, RoadMap2Balance4Momz

Self Doubt

Hey Momz, I know sometimes we experience and go through self doubt. I just want to encourage a Mom that you all are destined for greatness. I wanted to share this transparent story of self doubt that I experienced recently: So my youngest son has been singing ๐ŸŽค since he was 3 years old and his birthday was yesterday and he turned 8. My son is an aspiring singer ๐ŸŽถ so as a Mom you know Iโ€™m going to invest in his talent cause thatโ€™s what us Momz do. So I had been praying about the next step to help my son with his singing ๐ŸŽค regarding getting my son in the studio, but was experiencing some SELF DOUBT regarding the studio and singing because I was being impatient. So on yesterday my son had a singing engagement. During the event, this lady out of nowhere approached me and stated the following โ€œI believe in your son and he is going to be an amazing singer and I want to financially invest in himโ€. Now I donโ€™t know this lady but my SELF DOUBT immediately diminished because that was confirmation of my prayers. As Momz, when our kids tell us they want to be something in life, we work hard to try to make that happen for our kids and when things donโ€™t happen the way we want them to Self Doubt can set it. Momz I want you to hear me, God will place people in your life to AFFIRM you and to diminish your SELF DOUBT. We are graced to guide and prepare our children for their purpose. Momz you are all Rockstars and are destined for Greatness! ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿค—#youareenough #womenempowerment #momsrock #balance #momsareawesome #mom #moms #momstyle #selfdoubt #encouragement #faith #mindsetofgreatness #achievegreatness