Sex Talk

So I had this In depth conversation with my daughter about S.E.X. πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ. Let me set the scene. I’m sitting in my bedroom watching television πŸ“Ί and my daughter approached me about wanting to talk to me about some things regarding sex. So I said sure let’s just go for a ride since I needed to go to Target 🎯 anyways and I’m kind of panicking πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ. Now before the sex discussion even begin my daughter basically came out and said that she is not sure how comfortable she is discussing her flaws with me πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈ. As her mom, I’m like hey I have flaws too (plenty of flaws)- my daughter is like well “I’m not aware of any of your flaws and what I want to talk to you about you might judge me”. I’m totally thinking πŸ€” to myself like why would I judge πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈ anyone; I’m not judgemental. Now this is where things get deep: I immediately start sweating under my arm pits because now I’m praying under my breath and asking God to help me through this conversation. I begin to take a deep breath, I shared one of my flaws πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ(my first sexual experience I got pregnant and had an abortion) and put myself in her shoes and we started an open discussion surrounding sex. We openly discussed that some of her friends were having sex πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ. So I calmly asked her, “Baby are you having sex and do you want to have sex?” She responded, “Mom, I am not ready to have sex because I want to focus on my education and get myself established first”. Here is where I started breathing 😬. So I’m thinking she wanted to tell me that she had sex but she really just wanted to have a discussion about sex and to know how her Mom felt about it πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€—. In the back of my mind I was like thank you Jesus. In the moment I responded, “When you are ready please let me know so that I can get you some condoms”. I asked my daughter about STD’s and told her that if she chooses to have sex, she will risk getting infected with a sexually transmitted disease and informed her that some of the STD’s are not curable-her mouth is wide open now 😬. We also discussed the importance of waiting until Marriage to have sex (biblical principles- I Corinthians 6:18-20). I shared with my daughter that I did not wait until Marriage to have sex and I ended getting pregnant a second time 🀰while in a relationship and becoming a single parent. I also discussed with my daughter some of the struggles (delayed college entry and sport scholarship cancelled)I experienced being a young single mom and how my choices delayed my purpose in life. My daughter stated, “Mom I’m sorry you went through those things.” I told my daughter when you are not aligned with God’s plan and try to make your own decisions, God allows obstacles to occur in your life to remind us that we need to seek him first. I’m just thankful that my daughter still has her V card πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈ. Okay so back to the topic πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ, having the sex talk with your teens can sometimes be challenging and I try to be more conscious of that. I found this article that I want to share with Momz who may also need some assistance with having the sex talk:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/high-school/what-should-i-teach-my-high-school-aged-teen-about-sex-and-sexua

Here are some helpful tips from the article:

You can support them in waiting even more by helping them think through how they’ll say no to sex in the moment. Ask them what they think someone might say to convince them they should have sex. They can practice what they’ll say back. They might come up with things like:

  • β€œIt’s just not for me.”

  • β€œWe are too young for that responsibility.”

  • β€œMy plans for the future are more important than having sex right now.”  

  • β€œI don’t feel like it.”

  • β€œWhy are you trying so hard when I told you, β€˜no’?”

  • β€œMy mom would be really upset.”

  • β€œI might get sick or pregnant.”  

  • β€œIt’s against my religion.”

  • β€œNO.”

As a reminder Momz, Don’t be afraid to have this talk, it’s the best thing that I could have done βœ…- Now I do it all the time πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ. My kids are like Mom, again really πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ! Yep πŸ‘

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